Dia

Been there since day one its not easy. Away from home, not only your home but also your place where you can say ' I belong in here'. Beside every time i talk to people back home when the ask 'How is your day back there ?' and i said 'its all good , you should come here sometime i know it's far from home but in this city people are not so different back home '. 

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 I remember , before i took a trip to Yogyakarta i made my self a promise . I said " Its okey you gonna be a tough guy , you gonna be a person who always remember who you came from , and also you a person who also alway like "dia" " .

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4 month later , in my freshman year i gave every in my will power to contact her but her did not reply every god damn time she did not reply . I started to think 'Oh , this is how you gonna play me ?' "Ok then i show you how i play" . Since that time , i spam her like a crazy old mom who worry about his son dealing with a crack head but still, she did not reply .
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1 month later , i contact one of her friend , i told her everything since she not answer my contact . She also have no idea what happen , so i said to her ' can you ask her ? i kinda worry about her' . Then she agree to help me . i confuse , really iam . I dont understand why she acting like that , i know she in third grade and about the leave high school , but its hard for you to reply just 'oh hi ! iam okey dont worry , i kinda busy right now dont contact me anymore okey ?' . Its lot better than not reply at all dude come on. I bet you have bunch of free time to just answer or tell me to fuck off and doing something else its 100 times better than you just silence. 

3 weeks later , I come back home . I contact her to say im in town i asked her to hangout and talk about i do not know what the shit its all about . I surprised she answer ' Hi ! yes i can go out tonight , are its okey we go out little late in night ? i have a course to catch up '. I gladly answer ' Of course, i pick you up at your place aight? and its kinda rainy so i will bring yellow car, wait me outside your home' .
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That night , i ask everything about what the fuck its actually happen between me and her. She said that i disturb her with my presence in her life, short of . Actually she said politely but after i heard that my heart feels like stabbed and then the wounded part poured by lemon , its hurt really .After everything i have done, she reply it with ignorance and yet cruel way to said i bother her , polite but deep and hurt.
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Later that night i took her home, i said that i will wait for her and deep down in my mind i always said to my self ' Every thing that hard to get its often lead to beautiful destination' . She hard then she is beautiful destination.
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2 Month passed by i got text from on of my close friend which at the same grade as she is. She texted me and say ' look what i just saw!' i saw the text , one minute later she send a pict . I shook dude really the pict show that her go out with another man, and make it worst the man is my underclass man in basketball team, i often told,gave him tips,and also support him on and off court but now he go out with the girl that i like since in the highschool . I shook , i told my friend that i did not believe what i just seen , either did she . Love is cruel thing to go after right ?
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Almost 1 month go bye , many of my close friend ask me 'you dont go out with her anymore?' i answer 'Nah,its okey i will get another one haha' . In the outside i look like okey i never told anyone about shit that i been through but i hurt man bad really bad . I play though in outside but inside i fragile. After that i saw women different , before i respect them , i admire them ,and i praise them (in love mater tho not on anything else). After what she have done with me , i kinda dont trust them anymore i always think they are the same as she is, not different and once again in love mater not in other do not get me wrong
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The reason why i write this fuck up girly content in my blog is , if you read this you cause damage more than you think girl . You better do not waste the man you have got today . Because of you i hardly trust a girl , i see girl with different approach and it i bad way . I not 100 % blame it on you , the shit was on me too and i mess up to but dont ever happen again your turned a lovely caring boy you have to become on of the jerk ass who dont believe in love any more or worst , which become desperate boy.
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Still in this day i hope your health taken care off , and also i pray you have a beautiful life , and your collage life is smooth as the sea wave but i wanna told you in person since a long time . Dont you dare fuck this boy up like me. He is a good guy . I dont mean to interference your life , but i dont wanna good guy become like me today. Lastly i hope you found a peace in your mind , i still have you in my pray till today ! Goodluck with everything !
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HAHAHA i know many event in this article are dramatized but its actually took place in my own personal life . I never told anyone about this shit , i just wanna let it go and clear up my mind thats what writing is all about right ? .
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In the last event in the story i told you that i not trust any girl any more right ? but it change , i trust a girl but i barely now her at all. Haha yes shit happen in life but life must go on right ? . Later i will write about it .
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Thank your for reading my shit stuff till the end ! i dont have such a goal but i just wanna clear up my mind and also try to write something in english and this is my blog right i have right to write any shit that came up in mind right ? so peace out see you in another post !
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Yogyakarta , 23 February 2018
(Daffa Afif Akbar)